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Oh my God, so, like, on Friday, I was in the chatroom playing with this Old school, gooning loser. We were discussing how he liked to look at censored porn pics. Because like he is so much of a loser that he doesn’t deserve to see fully nude women. Or pussy or nipples or like anything.

He told me that he doesn’t even use internet photos or video porn sites unless they are censored for losers like him and that what he likes best is his old magazines. I asked what kind of pictures he liked in those musty, old pages, and he sent me a picture of a centerfold, but you won’t believe what had me laughing so hard about the picture.

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Why Should I Care?

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I have one question: why should I care? You call me saying you wish to entertain me, which should mean you do what I say and how I say it. When I told you I wanted to hear you ride the dildo, you thought I would only make you suck; you said that it would hurt. Yeah, and?

Why should I care if you didn’t prepare your ass for a rough fucking? Why should I care if you don’t have lubricant to make it more comfortable? I thought this was about me and what I wanted. Isn’t that what you said?

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Burpy Bitch

Burpy Bitch

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The cafeteria was bustling, per usual. I sat at the head of the popular table with my Doc Martins kicked up on the surface. Kelly was telling me about her hot tub weekend with Trevor when some nobody stood beside me. He started talking about snapping photos for the yearbook without even waiting for her to take a breath to pause our conversation. Fucking rude. Just interrupting my friend like some little asshole. I reached up and gripped the collar of his polo, pulling his face to mine. Then I let out the most enormous belch. I’d been holding it in since chugging my Coke at the start of lunch.

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Early this morning, a pretty little sissy caught my attention. She looked so horny but shy, so I tipped my finger under her chin and asked if she was a good little cock slut. “I don’t know if I like cock.” She confessed in a barely-there whisper. I scoffed. “But I do like tranny cock.” She added with a blush.

“Cock is cock, little girl. And I’ll teach you to want to please all of them. I’ll make you my cock addicted slut before the day is over.” I promised and dangled a slutty pink thong in front of her face. “Put this on before the boys get here.”

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I saw the blue lights flash in my rearview as I Cali rolled through the second stop sign. Being late for class again wasn’t an option, and I really didn’t have time to get a ticket. Using my indicator, I pulled off to the shoulder and let my lower lip pout out.

The Officer made his way to the window, and I cracked it only a little. Just enough for him to hear my voice. “Oh my God, please. I’m so sorry.” I blurted and let a fake tear tickle from my eye. He lifted his sunglasses and barked, “Step out of the vehicle, Miss.”

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Making Older Men Beat Their Balls

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I love making older men beat their balls. And I’m not talking older, like 40’s; I mean OLDER. Like the 60-year-old who called me the other day and fell in love. Our first call was just feeling things out. I made fun of his ED. What kind of loser can’t get hard for his wife but gets rock hard when I punch his balls?

It’s hilarious. As we explored his pain threshold, it didn’t take long for him to embarrassingly cum before I gave him permission. We laughed about how he felt I went easy on him even though I’m a self-proclaimed bitch. Clearly, he was giving me the green light to seriously abuse him next time.

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Porn has replaced our sexual education. Anything you need to know about sex, you can learn by watching porn. Straight porn, kinky porn, gay porn even fetish porn can teach you things beyond your imagination.

I prefer real-life experiences to watching someone else get railed, but the other day, I saw a clip and had legit FOMO. This dude packed his balls into a chick’s asshole, and they masturbated together!

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Punished Little Homewrecker

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Doug gripped my wrist and spun me around. He shoved me roughly into the kitchen counter, and I shivered when he pulled my hair to the side to expose my ear to his lips. “I’m a VERY loyal husband.” his voice was rough like gravel, filled with anger but tinged with lust he could no longer control.

My ass arched out to rub against his crotch. I knew he wanted me. As my best friend’s Dad, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of me every time I came over. The hand that had swept my hair back was now pulling my panties down over my ass. The small skirt I wore over to the house did little to interrupt his path. “Do you know how I punish horny little bitches who try to wreck my marriage?”

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Uncle Ricky's Little Cock Tease

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My Uncle Ricky is a pervert but like the best kind. He might think of some nasty stuff but never crosses a line. Unlike other men who shouldn’t have touched me but have, Uncle Ricky suffers in silence, making teasing him so much more fun.

He was over for our family pool party this weekend, and I kept catching him gawking at me in my little bikini. It made me feel so sexy, knowing he couldn’t keep his eyes off of me. Someone suggested playing chicken in the pool, and I bounced by his side. “I’m on Uncle Ricky’s team!” I pushed my boobs against his back and whispered in his ear. “You want me, don’t you?” He turned around and looked at me with big, nervous eyes, and I giggled before shoving his shoulder. “On your team? You want me on your team, right?”

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Uncle Pervert's House

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Growing up is such a weird thing. One day, you’re just living your life thinking this is how things are for everyone, and the next day, you realize some horrible things have happened to you. I’m talking about how, when I was little, my Mom would send me to her brother’s house for the summer. It wasn’t unusual for Uncle Pervert’s hands to wander or for him to get hard when he sat me on his lap. I thought that happened to every girl when she stayed at her Uncle’s house, but then I learned something about boys that explained it all!

As soon as a boy hits puberty, his balls pump horny perversion hormones into his brain that make him only think about his sexual desires! Now that summer has come around again, I’m going back to Uncle Pervert’s house, but this time, I’ll be teaching him a lesson.

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