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I fucked my landlord to get out of paying my rent last night. Was behind 3 months and he was going to put me out. I had been hanging out all night with friends, drinking and doing party favors having an amazing time. But when I got home that night turned upside down. There was padlock on my door. “You gotta be fucking kidding me!” I yelled. Unfortunately he lived down the hall from me so I could see him popping his fat head out of his door.
“What the fuck Alfred! I said I was going to get you your rent money this week! Now, open my damn door!” He walked out wearing his filthy velvet robe and house slippers. Hairy chest and bad cologne was a terrible combination on him. “You think I trust you! You’re almost 4 months behind. No money, no key!” “I’m too blown out of my mind! Give me my damn key please! Can’t we settle this in the morning?!” “No money, no key!” He repeated. “Unless you want to give me something else instead.” He looked at me grabbing his cock. For a brief moment I threw up in my mouth. The thought of Continue reading “I Fucked My Landlord”
