Zesty Zoey 1-844-332-2639 Ext 403

One must be careful and alert when hiking through the Appalachia woods.  There live many type of cryptids and one never know when she’ll accidentally stumble upon one.  I hiked a trail one sunny summer day.  Lost in the feel of the forest around me.  I love the press of the trees enclosing me in the lush greenery of themselves and the fauna on the forest floor beneath my feet.  Distracted by the natural beauty around me, I suddenly heard the unexpected snap of a twig nearby.  I stopped and listened more closely to determine whether it might be other hikers enjoying the amazing energetic day.  But as I listened intently and looked around me, I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye.  By the time I’d fully turned my attention toward the movement, a Sasquatch had stepped out from behind a tree about eight feet in front of me.

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Zesty Zoey 1-844-332-2639 Ext 403

Let me tell you about the time I had to save Amber (unknowingly) from a Manticore.

Amber called me and asked me if I could come over to her house to help her with an emergency situation.  Of course, being a good friend and all, I immediately headed over there.  She met me at the door and grabbed my arm yanking me into her house and slamming the door.  “Hurry, follow me to the basement.” Amber said frantically.  I followed her down the stairs and looked around.  I didn’t see anything serious immediately.  But I knew she wouldn’t call for nothing.  Amber led me over to one of the walls which strangly had manacles dangling from the wall.

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Zesty Zoey 1-844-332-2639 Ext 403

Belle and I got called up, by the powers that be, to work a stint as interrogation agents.  They told us that we were the prefect pair to get information out of guys.  The agency director said that I’m sweet and persuasive while Belle has the fortitude to do the dirty work that’s sometimes needed.  Together they knew we’d get the information needed to assure our country remained a powerhouse in the world of intelligence.  So, we were given sexy revealing matching uniforms.  Belle was given high heeled boots while I was left barefoot to perpetuate the idea that I was completely harmless.

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I couldn’t sleep.  My brain was too busy contemplating the expansiveness of the universe.  Especially after seeing those crazy pictures from that new telescope.  When I got tired of tossing and turning, I decided to get up and go for a little walk.  Luckily since I live in the country, I usually only have to worry about the wildlife.  So, I threw on my running shoes, pushed in my headphone, and started out into the night.  How was I supposed to know that I’d been watched and was currently being stalked by a real live gargoyle?  No one would have that at the top of the ten things to happen while out on a late-night run.

Continue reading “Captured by the Kinky Gargoyle”