Cory 1-844-332-2639 ext 407
I was just minding my own business, while trying to navigate the bustling aisles of the local superstore. Which, let’s be honest, is already a comedic goldmine on any given day. My basket was precariously stacked with various impulse buys when I noticed a dude a few feet ahead of me acting a little…uh…shifty.
He was wearing these beige cargo shorts. In hindsight, they didn’t exactly help camouflage the emerging situation. He kept adjusting his stance, almost like he was doing a subtle, internal dance battle with himself. I initially just thought he had a really itchy butt. Or was perhaps auditioning for a very niche interpretive dance troupe in the cereal aisle. But then I spotted a distinct, darkening patch at the front of his shorts.
Cleanup In Aisle 7
My brain took a solid five seconds to process what my eyes were seeing, flitting between “Is that a spilled drink?” and “No, Cory, that’s definitely not a spilled drink, unless he carries a bladder full of lukewarm lemonade in his pocket.” The patch on his shorts was expanding with an almost alarming efficiency. It was blooming outwards from his groin area! A wave of involuntary, stifled laughter bubbled up, threatening to escape my lips, quickly followed by a pang of sheer, unadulterated mortification for him, because witnessing someone’s public plumbing failure is a uniquely uncomfortable brand of vicarious embarrassment.
This man, bless his cotton-blend cargo shorts, was clearly aware, though doing his absolute best to pretend he wasn’t. He suddenly developed an intense interest in the price of organic quinoa, his gaze fixed on the minuscule print as if deciphering ancient hieroglyphs. I even witnessed him attempt a casual, almost imperceptible shuffle-walk, I assume to somehow outpace the spreading dampness, but gravity and liquid mechanics are not easily outsmarted. Especially not by a man who’s just wet himself in aisle seven. Part of me wanted to offer him a giant box of paper towels, or maybe just a hug, but mostly I just wanted to melt into the floorboards and possibly send him an anonymous gift basket filled with new pants and a very large, absorbent towel.
Cory 1-844-332-2639 ext 407
https://phonesexcandy.com/cory
https://sinfullysexyphonesex.com/cory