Kayla Cumsalot 1844-33-CANDY Ext 357
I’d written into the world record book about Mr. Stinky Pampers. I explained that there has never been a baby who has ever smelled as badly as he does. They contacted me back to say we’d been selected to meet with a judge, and she would decide if he earned the world record for Stinkiest Diaper. I was terribly excited, I mean, what’s the point in being so smelly if you aren’t recognized for it, right?
It was mid-morning when the Judge knocked on the door. She seemed very professional-looking in a hot, MILF-Y way. She had on a high-waisted pencil skirt and crisp, white button-up blouse. Her thick-rimmed glasses scrunched up her nose when I opened the door, and Mr. Stinky Pamper’s smell assaulted her senses. “Peeyouuu!” She waved her notebook in front of her nose. “It’s worse than I thought.”
Mr. Stinky Pampers Earns A World Record
I smiled at her stink face. If she already thought it was stinky, we would for sure get that world record. She hadn’t even made it past the foyer yet, and Mr. Stinky Pampers was all the way in the back of the house, playing with his cars in the living room.
“Whooaaiiee,” She exhaled as I led her to the back. Our little record breaker was squatted down, zooming his Hot Wheels about as if he couldn’t smell the mess he’d made. “Look at how it sags!” She exclaimed, and I nodded.
“He might be a baby, but he has a big boy-sized load in there!” Mr Stinky looked back at me with a blush, and the Judge bent down to sniff the seat of his Pampers Cruisers. She let out a gasp, and I laughed.
“Can you stand up for us, baby?” She asked, jotting down notes as he did. She had him walk, which was more of a waddle because his diaper sagged so heavily.
“I’m not a baby!” Mr. Stinky stomped his feet and pouted. His lil cheeks were red from embarrassment, but the Judge and I just kept making stinky sounds and squishing his soiled Pampers.
“That’s too bad ‘cus this record is only for the Stinkiest BABY in the world,” The Judge teased. “If you wanna be awarded, you’ll have to admit what a baby you is?” His lip wobbled as he looked between us, and then he sagged his shoulders.
“Okay, okay.” His hands flopped by his side in defeat. “I’m just a baby, can you change me now, pwease, Mommy?”
Kayla Cumsalot 1844-33-CANDY Ext 357